Can I Keep Him?

(This happened a few weeks ago, but I'm still entertained by it so I thought I woud share)

Ryan is on a kick right now of listing things that he has or is going to "eat". (Guess what the #1 most listed item is? If you guessed poop, of course you are correct and I congratulate you on knowing Ryan well enough to have guessed that.)
On this particular morning, we were getting ready to go to school. As I dressed Ryan, this is the list he came up with:
"I eat diaper."
"I eat poop."
"I eat pants."
"I eat socks."
"I eat shirt."
"I eat goldfish." (Which is, sadly, the truth; Ryan eats Golsfish crackers for breakfast every morning. But that deserves a seperate post altogether.)
"I eat Dana."
"I eat plate."
"I eat cup."
"I eat door."
"I eat baby."

I stopped him there. I said, "Ryan, don't eat the baby! I'd be sooo sad" and I pretended to be sad. His dry reply:

"I eat your sad....I eat your tears."

This kid has a very dark sense of humor....which I love about him. And I can't take credit for it - I don't think that's something that can be taught...but I will surely continue to cultivate that part of him!

Mmmm...Sacrelicious

WARNING: This post has the potential to offend people. That is not my intention; I simply want to share some of my findings with you. Having had a religious upbringing, I have come across a large supply of religious artwork. Some pieces have elicited spiritual emotions. The following examples have had the opposite effect:

The only 30-some year-old man who can get away with inviting/luring children to his party with treats...

(This piece came from Ryan's preschool lesson book)

"When he went for a layup he was denied three times..."

(Jay spotted this gem at a Catholic school where he was taking school pics while working for Lifetouch)

The following are miniature statues found on a Catholic supply website that are sold to be used as inspirational awards and inspirational decor. I find them to portray Jesus as a mean-spirited child-hater.

Jesus playing "monkey in the middle":


"Jesus- you're trippin!"

Jesus using his height advantage to taunt children with a ball:

Jesus crashing a ballerina photo shoot:

Golf meets the Heimlich Maneuver:

The only way of cheating in baseball that is worse than using steroids...)

And I saw this last one at church in the Young Women's room, where I teach. I realized pretty quickly that it's supposed to portray Jesus with young women as a way of saying that he loves them and is there for them . But my very first thought when I saw it was "Jesus is a pimp!"